Installation

ABOUT SECRET OUTING

The installation Secret Outing consists a large, antique 7-foot-tall wooden armoire with yards and yards of red silk flowing forth like a river unleashed from its interior. Upon the silk are many pairs of fanciful women’s shoes, hand-made from paper and gauze, each pair uniquely whimsical and fairytale-like.

The impulse behind the piece came from when I was age 12, going through a rocky period of self-identity. I felt embarrassed to express any hint of femininity during the months as I was beginning to enter womanhood. For a few-month period I was mortified to wear frilly or feminine clothing, and strongly boycotted all things girly. As I transitioned to discovering that I liked being a girl—and looking like one—(shortly before my 13th birthday), I felt timid about revealing this change of heart (and change of fashion), wondering if I would be laughed at by those who knew me well. Secret Outing refers to secretly “outing” myself at age 12 as a feminine girl who likes girly things. It also refers to my fantasy of all these beautiful, fanciful shoes, locked up and kept out of sight by day, making their secret outing by night, and coming out to play while I sleep. It has a fairytale-like quality for me that resonates with my 12-year-old self who was still hungry for childhood magic yet was unsure of its changing role in my life.